Where do our eyes even GO? How do they even SLEEP? -Ashley Harris
I'm gunna marry a chef. A chef/doctor. -Reghan
Anne: I think Starbursts and Airheads are my favorite candy.
Bethany: I feel like that suits you.
Anne: Yeah, well, nerds suit YOU.
Sperm isn't pointy! Sperm is soft. -Casey
Oh yeah? Today I used real toilet paper for the first time in 3 days -- and I wiped a leaf out of my butt! -Ashley Harris
I was either about to get murdered -- or it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen in my whole life. -Chelsea Layman?
Bethany: "... can fish drown?"
Emily: "............... what kind of question is that?"Danielle: "Feel this thing on my stomach."Bethany: "UGH! Sick! What IS that??"Danielle: "It's like this thing that pokes out sometimes."Bethany: "That sounds like a hernia --"Danielle: "OH! Is THAT my hernia??"
Danielle: "Wanna see somethin' else?"Kayla: "NO!"Danielle: "See this big scar?"Bethany: "... yeah..."Danielle: "That wasn't there when I was born. My mom's kinda worried about it. THAT'S what I thought my hernia was."
But if you do it with FIREWORKS, it's a miracle. -Esh
Esh: You haven't read the book?
Jason: ... I've seen the movie.
[Esh throws a paper clip at Jason]
I'm sorry if you guys ALL thought we were going to the President's hot tub. The good news is that the romance is still alive. -Noelle
I just need tampons for my eyes. -Julie
CORN IS A MEAT?! -Kyle
"Every morning I wake up and think, 'How lame can I be today?'" -Michael Conner
Emily: "My wrinkles are worse!"
Anne: "My wrinkles HAVE wrinkles!"
Emily: "My wrinkles say I'm getting married 6 times!"
"May the force be with toi." -Allison Schroer (Star Wars and French in one quote... impressive)
"I'm always going to have medium on me -- why can't we just accept that?" -Anne Johns
Anne: "He stripped his pants off!"
Bethany: "HOW did this happen?"
Mike: "Anne and I... we had a misunderstanding..."
"If you're no good, so help me, I'm gunna- I'm gunna eat you anyways." -Anne to a sandwich
I'm going to name my son Checkerboard and my daughter Binder. -Amanda
I moisturize it in my brain! -Ashley Harris
My eye drops! I eat my eye drops! -Ashley Harris
I used to be able to breathe out of my ears! It's legit! -Ashley Harris
Noelle, my guys wanna see your bra. -Pete
Can I borrow a pair of your clothes? -Noelle
Sorry, I was calling because I couldn't find my 20 pound bar of chocolate. But I have it. -chelsea
(Matt making fun of IWU:) You're not allowed to make fun of anything unless you're laughing at Satan and how dumb he is. -matt
Country music s like water to this wicked witch. -nick
I love looking at ceilings from a different angle -- it's one of my favorite things. -nick
You take the diggest, beepest breath when you say that. -bethany
Where is the North pole? ... is it in a country? ... No, 'cause it's like a city, right? -christine
Get your skank self off of me. -lindsay
First things first: shave your pubes. Love Jesus. Don't love the boys too much. Do something crazy before you stop being a teenager. Don't be afraid to be naked. -emily larson's words of wisdom on her 20th birthday
I'm not a puppy ANYMORE -mike
It kinda tastes like bird seed. I like it! -Jess
Is John Wesley easily broken? I threw an ice chunk at him. -Casey
I'm actually hooking up with my philosophy professor... so I can get good grades in the class. He's actually Reghan's height. -Chelsea, joking
By the end of this week, I'm either gonna be half baboon or half human. -Ashley
Off to work wearing a trucker hat! Sketch! -Jess
I don't even know what a urethra is! -Carrie
WAIT. Mark Twain is a girl?! -Ashley
I'm changing my major to gorillas. -Ashley
Ashley: I think I have tachycardia.
Bethany: No. You don't.
Ashley: My heart beat's more than 100 times a minute.
Carrie: ...You're just not counting right.
I want to do drugs in my life time... I mean have dreads! -Anne Johns
Shannon: Is "standed" a word?
Jess: No, Shannon. It's "stood."