Adam: These donuts are like crack.
Rob: They are. I tried to put one up my nose.
"A" is for excellence. -James, Kokomo Leadership
Wait, that purple fur you're wearing isn't real? -Nick Rassi
"I don't have a hairstyle. I have a hat." -Bethany's "mantra," made up by Nick
"Bethany will immaculately conceive, if ANYTHING." -Nick
"THAT is on a t-shirt in my head." -Nick
Nick: I'm so tired of weddings. You're never allowed to have a wedding. You can get married, but no wedding.
Bethany: So... you want me to elope?
Nick: Correct. But I wanna come.
I wouldn't deprive you all of wearing clown noses to my wedding. -Nick (on "not eloping")
You're going to have to bite off the head of a live dove to get to your save-the-date. -Nick (on "having a unique wedding theme")
Bethany: Ew, I would hate wedding dress shopping with my mom. Do I have to do that?
Rachel: If you don't, SHE'LL SEND YOU ONE!
Eric: Will you marry me?
Kyla: I SUCK!
Anne: I suck! I THOUSAND-TIMES SUCK!
Do you want to watch G-Force with me? It's a hamster action movie that my 73 year old coworker gave to me. -Kayla
I find it very effective taping dollar bills to myself. -Adam (on recruiting)
Chris Hancock: Did you HEAR? Someome invented the hover bike from Star Wars.
Bethany: I hope it cures cancer.
Chris Hancock: WHO CARES ABOUT THAT?!
Rapping is the key to stopping racism. That's what Eminem said. -Adam
If I were in a chili cook-off ,yes, I would burn your sphincter off. -Chris Hancock
Boo-thang. -Jovan, during staff meeting
Deveron: If you could have someone narrate your life, who would it be?
Bethany: Morgan Freeman.
Roger: Jack Black.
I'm the black Michelin man. -Deveron
Chris Hancock: True test of faith. I made this at 7:30 this morning and it's still hot!
Roger: That's because I peed in it during lunch.
What the heaven just happened? -Pastor Darren
You type with the fingers of a 250 pound man. -Adam
Someday, I want to reanimate something dead. -Chris Hancock
Always be yourself. Unless you can be batman. Always be batman. -Chris? Adam?
"Oh my gosh. Basketball is so 90's." -Spencer (Y2K - Party Like It's 1999)
"It looks like Saved By The Bell threw up." -Spencer (Y2K - Party Like It's 1999)
"Basements in California are basically giant rat homes." -Nick
"I'm not getting married anytime soon. Better than jumping on the wedding bandwagon. Because that bandwagon is covered in some nasty, tacky-ass crap." -Nick
Britt: Remember when we dated?
Nick: Yes. Worst 5 weeks of my life.
Britt: It was 6 months!
Incident: After watching Catfish and discussing it for a long period of time, Anne realized that she had BEEN a Catfish before.
"My leg is stronger than your whole body" -Rachel to Kayla
Incident: Halfway through The Prince of Egypt, Rachel realizes it's NOT "the movie with the guy who turns into a donkey" (The Emperor's New Groove)
I'M so big I could be seen from the moon! -Kayla
Rachel: What if you had superhuman strength?
Bethany: I take my stairs two at a time, so...
"I'm not even a layperson, I'm like a hobo. I'm a negative layperson." -Kayla
Me: "I think I had the worst night sleep I've ever had last night."
Kayla: "Well, Bethany, that's because I put a pea under your bed...
"You look like a brown Q-tip. You're wearing your twig outfit." -Kayla
Deveron: "Steve went to prison?!"
Michael: "That's what happens when you steal clues, man!
Rachel: Kayla, are you a hypo-chondriac?
Kayla: No, just a little-chondriac.
Kayla: Oh, who did you have Starbucks with?
Bethany: Nobody.
Kayla: Did you get two drinks?
Bethany: ... yes. Oh shoot, I'm so pitiful right now.
"I'm about to delete you both from facebook, you be investi-hatin'" -Taresa
It's not good when your roommate says "Ok. I'm going to bullet point all my thoughts..." at 12:39 am. -Bethany
"Also, I have stock in Hersey and I need to sell it NOW." -Rachel
Rachel and I will be on the next Planet Earth's "behind the scenes: commentary." Get pumped. Fake British Accents. -Bethany
"I'll eat a second dinner. The hobbits and I are one anyways." -Rachel
"Guys, I should've majored in Feelings." -Anne
Ben, I can see your juggles from here. -Kayla Johnson
"I loved the taste of the flouride. It tasted like berries and I only got it once a year." -Rachel
Kayla: I found a name I liked today.
Bethany: Tell me.
Kayla: Promise not to steal it.
Bethany: Um...
Kayla: It's Yiddish.
Bethany: I'm not gonna lie. If it's Yiddish, I'm probably going to steal it.
Kayla: It's Maven. It means "trusted expert in a particular field, who seeks to pass knowledge on to others."
Bethany: I genuinely like that name. I really do.
Kayla: As soon as she's born, she'll have intelligence spoken into her through her name.
Rachel: You should name her "Professor."
Bethany: "Professor! Good job going on the potty!"
Kayla: You're both awful.
"I'm in control. I don't have any money left, but I know exactly where it's going." -Bethany, about liking to pay the bills.
Our basement is 6 inches deep in water. Our system of trashing, sifting, and washing includes this choice conversation:
Rachel: Hey, Kayla says not to wash her Darth Vader costume!
Bethany: Got it.
Kayla: It’s BLACK and there’s a CAPE and a MASK and—
Bethany: kayla, it is so unnecessary to describe which piece of clothing looks like Darth Vader.
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