summer 2008

 (JUNE)

you like whitish people food, right? -spencer 

(to nick) do you have a butt? -brittany

 when i'm thinking real hard, i put my butt behind my ears. -nick

leopard sharks eat leopards, why wouldn't they eat you? -nick

 jessica, are you fluffy white happy? -nick

let's make our women as unattractive as possible to the point that people feel uncomfortable accepting our packages. -nick (imitating a UPS person)

you know what they took away from us at the airport? our toothpaste! toothpaste! what did they think we were going to do, brush people's teeth with it?! -grandma

mom: we've got sweet and kosher pickles. 
bethany: oh good. because i'm jewish. just converted. 
dad: again?

when i’m thinking real hard, i put my butt behind my ears. –nick

wooow- my inner compass did work! north… south… never- eat- shredded- wheat. –nick

real men eat pink. –spencer

(JULY)

that was the stupidest thing i've ever heard anyone say out loud... i've heard people say dumber things in their heads... so you're good. -nick

my hearing's really full of witches right now. -nick

nick: you're going to grab the bottom
spencer: bottom grabbed. 

[to nick] you just called chuck norris a ho. -bethany

today bethany learned how to spell ho. and not the garden variety. -nick

i had to try to get that disgusting taste out of my brain. -bethany

i started to write with my keys. which was... an issue. -bethany

doggy french kissing? not cute. -mandy

oh wait- i might've used a different definition of "made"... and possibly a different spelling- thank God for homonyms. -corwin 

(AUGUST) hume/midwest

Very few things bother me when I eat… I mean, if someone pooed in my food- eh, I’d probably eat around it. –Spencer

I don't repeat my own quotes, rule number 7. -spencer

I did it- without directions- I... am the essence of man. -nick

Your team thinks clam chowder is adventurous. -nick

I can beat this guy, he’s eating toast. –Nick

Nigerians are always good at ping pong. Known fact. -spencer

Nick: How would you know what a body burner looks like?
Bethany: I’m German.

I wonder if ice cream flavors are all in your head... -spencer

Turns out she wasn't pregnant... she was just fat. -elijah

I love footy pajamas... sometimes I wear them during the day. -nick

Spencer: Chicken feathers!
Nick: Someone's tossing them out their window!
Spencer: It's legal.

Nick: Why do you have glitter on your desk
Mr. Russell: I'm sure Mr. Boyd was in here doing macrame.'
Nick: Because macrame' has glitter.
Mr. Russell: Well, he puts glitter on everything.

Rule number one of being in the Uncle Garreck family- drive like this frick-tard. -nick

Remember when that little boy flipped Steve off on our way to go get tacos? That was cute. –Chelsea

Nick: IF I WOULD CUT MYSELF TO PROVE A POINT TO YOU, WHAT DO YOU THINK I’D DO TO PROVE A POINT TO YOU?!
Bethany: Probably cut yourself?

Bethany: I'm so mad! It was all a rouge!
Nick: ... I think you mean ruse?

Nick: Do they use real gold?
Spencer: Yeah
Nick: What a FAT waste of money.
Bethany: Nick. It's the Olympics. They're not going to give them tin foil chocolate covered-
Spencer: -yogurt lids.

Can't cyanide... kill you? -nick

[talking to a dog] You're too cute for... school? That doesn't work. bethany

Do I have to show you my ID to get a little cracker?! -nick stein

Well, I said it too- so we're both acting like 35 year old down syndrome men. -kelly

Bethany: I'm expecting to pick up some type of caffeine habit in college.
Grandma: What kind of habit?
Uncle Jeff: For a habit, you'd have to be a nun.

I would say my definition of middle school is "short pants." You know? You don't know? She doesn't know. -kelly