What does "barbeque" stand for? -zack
I have hangry hudache. -zack
Zack: I used to always quote Mrs. Doubtfire with this frumpy lady at my work. THis woman was THE definition of frump.
Nick: Frumplestilskin.
Zack: She radiated frump.
Nick: Can we CALL her Frumplestilksin?
Isn't "frumping" something weird you do to your hair? -matt
Bethany: What are blondies?
Nick: Brownies without chocolate in 'em.
Zack: Then why are they called brow- oh.
Bethany: What does cake mix have in it that brownie mix doesn't?
Zack: Hamburgers.
Matt; Why bring a shotgun to a pen fight?
Zack: Why bring a shotgun to a pen wedding?
Nick: I'm bringin' a shotgun to a tooth wedding!
Matt: That's stupid, what are you gonna do with your foot?
Bethany: I'll tell you what you can do with your foot.
I could go for a green beverage! -zack
Zack: Matt, that was funny... you've got some gold.
Bethany: Yeah, you've got some gold... in that little coal mine of a head.
One sequence, many sequi. -chelsea
Mom: I was watching a show on OCD.
Dad: And you couldn't stop?
Mom: I couldn't stop.
Whenever you get in my car you get tired and you CHEW ON MY SEATBELTS! -jessica
[Dad has beer; mom/grandparents have wine]
Bethany: I might have to drive you guys home.
Grandma: Looks like we've got a designed driver- drink up!
Dad: They did a thing on ghostbusters on how to get sober-
Bethany: ... you mean mythbusters?
I am the one with the cereal. I am like... the Poccahontas of cereal. -zack
Bethany: Now what is it that asparagus is rich in?
Grandma: Chlorophyll
A watched beach ball of death never stops spinning. -nick
That's divalicious. -nick
So every flake cereal has iron on it? What about No-Iron Flakes? -bethany
Hey, mom- I mean- Nick... -matt
I wanna sit down in a piece of pie. -matt
Zack: This sesame street episode is brought to you by-
Bethany: -the number "mang" and the letter "o"
Bethany: What's the date?
Zack: Wednesday.
[6/9/09) <-- tuesday
Nick: We could sell ourselves...
Zack: ... you mean prostitution?
I would willingly tattoo Juicy Fruit on my forehead for $1500 -nick
There are more Christians in China than America. STOP GOING TO CHINA!! -zack
I'm all up on my Bollywood- I know what I'm talkin' about. -zack
Wait, rewind and biggify. -zack
It makes me funny- I mean- laugh. -chelsea
I like your phone- I mean- shirt. -matt
My arm isn't attached to my body. -zack
Getting rid of energy doesn't mean getting rid of all light sources!! -zack
They were killing each other- the colors and patterns were killing each other in my brain!! -chelsea
Chelsea: Oh, I dropped my beans in my tea!
Zack: BEAN TEA!
To golf with foam gophers. To goph. Wanna go gophing? -nick
That's a long page paper. WOW, there's 8 of them! -zack
You know what, my sweater button is not a trash compactor. -nick
MooMoo Bear, don't touch my feetizzle. -chelsea
Seven- I mean- yellow. -bethany
Matt: Why does the dough got to be chilled?
Spencer: Science.
Matt: Starchmellow needs to absorb the water
Nick: What's starchmellow?
Matt: Science.
Right. It's like a baker's dozen but in reverse. -matt
I want no grass skin crepe. -chelsea
Oh, I got some lime on the coconut shoot. -spencer
(to the computer) I didn't remove no device, honay. Get outta my faith. -nick
Augh, there's tax hair up in my faith! -nick
Bethany: Never cut the blue wire!
Zack: There ISN'T any blue wire!
Bethany: ... Well, you're in bad shape.
God built the days in the seven. -Spencer
Zack: I need industrial strength scissors...
Nick: To cut through an industry?
Shelty, there's no Monty in pineapple. -matt
Bethany: Your legs are tired, so you can't make a duct tape wallet.
Nick: ... yes.
Bethany: We're very flexible...
Nick: Yeah, I'm like a gymnast of the mind.
Remember when I thought I had schizophrenia? THAT was the scariest couple hours of my life. -Bethany
My hands smell like copper poop. -zack
Matt, you want to come to the bathroom? -spencer
Bethany: What Beatles song did it say you were?
Nick: It said "I am the Walrus", which is bizarre, because I AM NOT.
Bethany: What day is it?
Zack: Wednesday. It's funny 'cause it's Monday -- get it?
Lucey: So why did some of you want to take psychology?
Girl sitting in front: To read minds.
Talk to yourself in french. People might think you're crazy, but at least they won't understand you. -Dunbar
Any month is good for green and beer. -Dunbar
They should make biblical foods. Like 10 plague napkins. -spencer
Nick, we're going to be the 10 plagues of Halloween! -spencer
Matt: Do you know any other people who can pull off a tasselled pillow? I don't.
Erin: Sri Lankans.
Nick: Prince Ali.
Brittany: I'm the designated DD in my family.
Lisa: Designated drunk driver?
Bethany: I need a church hymn...
Spencer: My country tis of thee.
Small pox. -Matt (trying to list allergies)
Go on a double date -- you, your mom, and two sodas. -nick
Meat cleaver me! It feels good! -zack
Lucy DOES have a saggy belly doesn't she? -bethany
It was a fruit-sized thud? -nick
Plums fall in happy numbers in my backyard. -matt
You're going to de-feather the plums tomorrow? -nick ("pluck")
I'm from New York -- it's all concrete -- we don't HAVE broccoli! -zack
Sometimes I kill people even when it's cold outside. -dad
I'll flip him off if I want to flip him off -- and you're next! -mom
Nick: Why's it called a duck cloth?
Spencer: 'Cause you rub it and it sounds like a duck.
Nick: I never understood "mint" condition.
Spencer: It's an acronym. It stands for... Many... Injuries... Never... Trap.
You want some bread on your lollipop? -nick
Nick: Have you ever been to a Build a Bear Workshop?
Zack: Chyeah. I put two hearts in mine... in case one fails.
I really, really, really have very little holding me back from jumping in that urn. -bethany
Spencer: There's the English and the Spanish and the Latin.
Bethany: So we use the Latin? Oh. No. We use English. We speak English here.
Zack: I'll just say 'Mom, you don't need Spencer, you have mango ice cream --'
Spencer: -the ultimate son.
Tiny bladder, tiny souls. -Spencer
I'm afraid of taking pills. Isn't that how Heath Ledger died? -anne
When it's summer and you're alone -- it doesn't really matter if it's night or day. One it's light out the other it's not. And when it's light out, you eat some cereal... or take a picture of a flower... don't laugh at my life, okay?! -anne
I could turn your name into satan. -bethany
Bethany: Why would mom let Graham watch movies on the computer?
Dad: Because she wants to DOOM us!
If I had a shiny butt.. I'm pretty sure I'd be a little upset. Just sayin' -kylee
My poster putty was like "aaaaggeeehhhh" and it fell off the wall with a deep breath like a wet sardine. -nick
We should do the hand-sander-offer. -spencer
My pet peeve is that pet peeves are my pet peeve. -nick
I don't want yogurt in my crevices. -nick
That's one of the things where you get one less crown in your Jesus-jewel. -bethany
Who invented food? -spencer
Bethany: "Declesion of Nouns"... that's the book I always read when I go to bars...
Nick: It's not a bar, it's a polish schlotsky.
Bethany: Well, in THAT case, I ALWAYS read "Declesion of NOuns" when I go to polish schlotskies.
If Michael Jackson TWITTED from the grave, there'd be an issue. -nick
Bethany: Spencer, why are you rubbing the bottom of your foot with a paper towel.
Spencer: Don't ask, don't tell.
Chew with your mouth, not with your ears. -unknown
Have you ever SEEN pickles? They're stacked to the brim. -zack
Did you just have a sneezure? -nick
I would trade hair with you in a New York minute. -zack
(july)
In every mans life, one needs to man up to peach picking and... it's hard.... to deal with... yet, like I said, everyone needs to do it. So, I think that Saturday, the July 4th- no. That's bad. You never to anything on the 4th... of any month. It's the Sabbath month... day... of- and plus its the fourth of JULY and so you have to see fireworks but... since it's the fourth you don't do that on the fourth of July... the 11th... seven plus four is eleven. Let's do that. Brentwood... a bucket... a wooden ladder... one of those peach hook things... and a pre-made pie crust... ready to put in the oven... things are the things that... what's that song? Beautiful things? Beautiful Lord. -spencer
My arms were knee-deep in cake. -bethany
Matt (looking at a picture): Is that a puppy?
Nick: ... that's the bottom of your face.
It was NOT a himafter... dite. -cindy (trying to say hermaphrodite)
Why is there a random baha on the floor? -spencer
I need a mom, stat! -spencer (wearing an "orphan" t-shirt)
(august)
Don't underestimate the half pirouette, that's what I always say. -matt
Bethany: What's a gazelle trot?
Nick: You.
My kitten, my rules. -spencer
Spencer: I can't wait to sleep on myself.
(bethany tilts head towards nick)
Nick: Bought a futon. Named it Spencer.
Spencer: It was on the crack. "Don't step on the--"
Nick: --"Keep mind of the--"
Spencer: -- "Watch out for the--" We're like a concordance.
If you buy me a fox and bring it here -- I will eat that mushroom. -ryan
Don't you think "highness" is weird. It's like a girl... it should be "highner." -spencer
We should never throw our family in a well. -bethany
My arms were knee-deep in cake. -bethany
Matt (looking at a picture): Is that a puppy?
Nick: ... that's the bottom of your face.
It was NOT a himafter... dite. -cindy (trying to say hermaphrodite)
Why is there a random baha on the floor? -spencer
I need a mom, stat! -spencer (wearing an "orphan" t-shirt)
(august)
Don't underestimate the half pirouette, that's what I always say. -matt
Bethany: What's a gazelle trot?
Nick: You.
My kitten, my rules. -spencer
Spencer: I can't wait to sleep on myself.
(bethany tilts head towards nick)
Nick: Bought a futon. Named it Spencer.
Spencer: It was on the crack. "Don't step on the--"
Nick: --"Keep mind of the--"
Spencer: -- "Watch out for the--" We're like a concordance.
If you buy me a fox and bring it here -- I will eat that mushroom. -ryan
Don't you think "highness" is weird. It's like a girl... it should be "highner." -spencer
